Learning difficulties: when to ask for help

Every child learns differently

Some children read early and some late. Some are quick at maths and slow at spelling. Differences are normal, and most children who struggle at first catch up with patient practice and good teaching. A smaller number have difficulties that do not go away with practice alone, and they need a different kind of help. The sooner such children are understood, the less time they spend believing they are lazy or not clever.

This article is general guidance for parents. It is not a medical or psychological guide and it cannot tell you whether your child has any particular condition. Only a qualified professional can do that. What this article can do is help you notice patterns and know whom to talk to.

Signs that are worth noticing

One or two of these on their own are common. What matters is a pattern that continues over months despite practice and encouragement, and that seems out of step with how your child manages in other areas.

• Reading: very slow or effortful reading, guessing words from the first letter, avoiding reading aloud, or reading far below the class level for a long time.
• Writing and spelling: letters often reversed or jumbled beyond the early years, spellings that change from line to line, handwriting that is extremely hard to read or that tires the child quickly, or difficulty putting thoughts on paper even when they can say them well.
• Maths: difficulty remembering number facts, confusion with place value, or trouble understanding what numbers mean even after a lot of practice.
• Attention and activity: finding it unusually hard to sit through short tasks, losing things constantly, or being very restless, in several settings and not only at home.
• Language and listening: difficulty following spoken instructions, or being slow to speak compared with other children of the same age.
• Vision and hearing: squinting, sitting very close to the board, not responding when called, or frequent headaches after reading.
• Emotions: strong dread of school, frequent stomach aches on school mornings, or a sudden fall in confidence.

Rule out the simple causes first

Before thinking of anything complicated, check the basics. Get your child's eyes and hearing tested; many children struggle simply because they cannot see the board or hear the teacher. Check sleep, food and general health. Think about whether something has changed recently, such as a move, a new school, a loss in the family or bullying. Ask whether the language of instruction at school is very different from the language at home, which can slow reading and writing for a while without meaning anything is wrong.

Start with the class teacher

1. Ask for a short meeting, and bring examples such as notebooks, test papers and homework.
2. Describe what you see at home in plain words, with specific examples rather than labels.
3. Ask what the teacher sees in class: how your child compares with the group, what helps and what does not.
4. Ask whether the school has a counsellor, a special educator or a resource person, and how to reach them.
5. Agree a few simple steps to try for a term, such as seating near the front, extra reading time or breaking tasks into short parts, and meet again to review.

When to see a professional

If the difficulty continues for several months despite extra help, or if it is clearly affecting your child's confidence, friendships or health, ask the school counsellor or your family doctor to refer you to a qualified professional, such as a paediatrician, a clinical or child psychologist or a special educator, depending on the concern. A proper assessment looks at many things together and does not depend on one test. Be cautious of anyone who offers a quick diagnosis from a short chat, or who sells an expensive cure with guaranteed results.

Many families worry about a label. A diagnosis, where there is one, is a way to get the right support, not a judgment about your child. It can open the way to practical help in school, such as extra time or different ways of showing learning. Ask the school and the board about the arrangements they offer and the documents they need; rules differ, so rely on the official notice.

What you can do at home meanwhile

• Keep practice short, regular and positive, five to ten minutes a day is better than an hour once a week.
• Use more than one sense: say the word, trace it in sand or on a plate of flour, build it with blocks or draw it.
• Teach with real things, such as coins for money, the kitchen scale for weights, and the clock on the wall.
• Praise effort, and name what your child does well outside school: drawing, helping, caring for a younger child, fixing things, cooking.
• Do not compare your child with siblings or cousins, and do not label them in front of others.

Look after yourself too

Parents often feel guilty, anxious or alone. Talk to someone you trust, and remember that asking for help early is a sign of care. Many teachers, special educators and parent groups understand what you are going through. If your child is distressed or you worry about their safety, Childline 1098 is a national helpline for children who need care and protection.